You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
