she was so not down for the gang bang
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
