i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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