Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have demons in me.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
