Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
