he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
