And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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