one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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