You can't motorboat a personality
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
