I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
