he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
