I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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