Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
