I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
