In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
