I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
