I didn't shave. On purpose
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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