Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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