There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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