My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He shit in the fireplace
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
