Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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