do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We are two peas in an std pod
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
