Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
