so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize