I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
