I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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