At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
