Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
