I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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