goodnight i made you a song goodbye
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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