Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
