don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
