i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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