my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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