And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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