so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
