doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
