Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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