Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The best revenge is premature balding
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well I just put wine in my tea
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
