no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
