Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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