You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
