She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
