I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize