how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
