he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
