the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
