saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize