i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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