The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
