It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
