I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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