i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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