In America we eat man semen.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
