it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
