So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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