I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize