is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
