sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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