Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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