At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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