you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You ate ashes out of my bong
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
