i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
