but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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