so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
North Korea, Best Korea!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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