I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
