Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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