I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
