i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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