Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
