I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
