Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
ttyl tear gas
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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