You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
